Thursday, 9 June 2011

How many Prisoners Does It Take To Build A Lotus 7?

   Mrs Butterworth was kind enough to lend the Prisoner his own car on the occasion of his return to London, but only on the promise that he would stop the Lotus 7 from over-heating which Mrs Butterworth had been experiencing in traffic. Well it wouldn't have taken the Prisoner long to fix that. All he would have to have done is remove the front number plate from the grill, which was obstructing the air flow to the engine!
    On his arrival home, and finding soeme woman now in possession of his car, he wanted to ask her a few questions about it, this in order to prove that it was actually his car, and that he had built it with his own hands. What's the number of that car? he asked Mrs Butterworth, and told her KAR 120C. Well that's an easy one, after all he'd just stood there and watched Mrs Butterworth drive up and park outside 1 Buckingham Place. What's the engine number? The Prisoner then told her 461034TZ. The Prisoner then went on to explain that he knew every nut, bolt, and cog, because he had built the Lotus 7 with his own hands. And this demonstrates two things. Firstly that the Prisoner had purchased the Lotus seven in kit-car form, and that he is an accomplished motor mechanic. And thirdly, having built the Lotus kit-car the Prisoner would have had to have known every nut, bolt, and cog, and have to have the all the receipts to prove it, in order for the car to have a "year" license plate, otherwise it would have been registered as "Q" instead of "C", as "Q" denotes a year which cannot be proved. Then the Prisoner would have had to present the built Lotus for a road worthiness inspection, by some official inspector, possibly from the Department of Transport, but don't quote me on that.
   How long does it take to build a Lotus/Caterham Seven? Well a pal of a chum of mine built his Caterham Seven kit-car over a weekend, that does not include the spraying of the body-work. I think he sold it in the end. Well the Caterham Seven, formerly the Lotus 7, is a car for the purist, the wind in your hair, the rain on your cheek, the freedom of the open road and all that. There's no radio, not heater, but then you can't drive the 7 in the winter anyway. My pal, of a chum of mine, had to garage his Caterham Seven during the winter months, so having a heater wasn't really a problem!
   One time, I was taken for a long ride in a Caterham Seven..........I remember I had a problem in keeping my eyes open against the wind, and it was bloody cold I can tell you. What's more, I can see why a tall man like Patrick McGoohan would have to lean out of the side of his Lotus 7 in order to see the road ahead, as he does in Many Happy Returns. A man over six foot like McGoohan, would have the top of the windscreen at eye-level!
I'm Johnny Prisoner

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